I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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