I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
