Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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