No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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