maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
