When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
