why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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