maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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