Whatcha textin bout Willis?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
