Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
