Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
