is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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