what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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