I cockslap morals
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
