if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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