Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
