how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
