He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
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We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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