Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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