I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
