Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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