paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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