Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
