Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
