Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
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She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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