Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm so fucking centered right now
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
someone owes me an orgasm
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
