Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize