Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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