The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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