Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize