Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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