i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
