I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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