i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
