uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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