Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
