I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
