i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
