I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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