So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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