were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
