You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
