he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
