It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
