Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
