I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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