I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
