This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
