I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
