I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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