as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
