I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
