I just threw up on my dentist
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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