Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
