Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
