I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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