I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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