wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
third nipple confirmed
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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