I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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