wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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