We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
