I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Are we in a gay sports bar?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
