party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
pray to the hookup gods
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
